Love and Other Words - Christina Lauren ****.75

First of all I refuse to give LAOW a rating because I just don't know what rate to give. I was moody when I started the book yesterday and the book def made me more moody yest n today when reading at least today was better than yest. The rating of the book will fall to any rating from 3 stars onwards n I just can't specify an exact number!

I hated that book didn't start from past to present but the author decided to put past and present chapters interchangeably. I did live Ellitot and Macy's story and I just can't hate Macy for going awol with Elliot for 11 years because Elliot (too drunk bt still not ok) slept with Emma and on the very next day Macy's dad died in a car accident which happened because Macy didn't contact her father saying she came safely. I honestly didn't read the entirety of Duncan's death because im not good at reading sad scenes without crying and now specifically after my grandfather's death.

The thing no one in my family seems to know how grandpa's death affected me. He passed away last year, exactly two weeks before my second year finals and it took a toll me. I was scared that I might end up hating my dad for not being there because my dad is working abroad ever since I can remember and as a reason my grandparents were always there. More than my father's presence I could feel their presence and they always brought a cake for me and my aiya on our bdays. For me it didn't matter but I liked that they came every year cause I srsly can't remember the last time my father was there for my bday. Last year as it was my 21st my dad was there for my bday and he wanted a party but I strictly said no cuz it was just four months after my grandfather's death and for me it felt like my dad was there because my grandpa can't make it anymore. I hated my father because he didn't get why I didn't want to throw a party at all. Last year doing the exams was hard and I cried a lot because with a span of two weeks I had forgotten everything I studied n I worried I wouldn't be able to sit for exams n the thing is no one fkng knew how hard it is for me.

At least now looking back last year was better than this year. This year my parents made it way too hard for me and there were so many times that I wanted to give up. It was my third year and the final Yr of the degree and it wasn't a year I wanted any shits happening but it did.

My friend who I considered as my almost bff (I stopped believing in the concept of best friends when I was small cuz there was no one would do to me as much as I would to others who I called friends), we had our fair share of arguments n I admit sometimes they got bad. For 2022, it makes 11 years since I've known her but throughout these 11 years she had so many other friends that she had but I was always there maybe as a backup as I always have been but we became really close in our last years at school and at the same time we started legitly falling out. But this year she blocked me from every social media because she found my asking of how she's doing annoying. I wanted to make up things with her cause I knew we were both wrong on things and I did apologise like a lot during this 11 yrs. But she didn't apologise. She didn't apologise for being a bitch for making me feel like she only wanted me as a friend because she didn't hv a bf and everything I didn't want to feel. But I still considered as a friend and I still do honestly. But it does hurt and it hurts more cuz my parents as obv don't know about it and I can't tell it anyone else how much it made me sad. And I was reminded of her because of Elliot because like for Macy as a friendship, she was the only one I came really close to opening up and she knew about things that I never told anyone!

Do I believe in second chances Idk. Do I believe in love idk! But it got to me when Sabrina said that Macy always kept everyone at arms length because that's what I'm doing. I've trust issues and sometimes when when things are killing me inside I just can't open up to anyone and if I open up about a snippet of my probs I regret it immediately. That's why i got emotional of Elliot and Macy's friendship because that is a friendship I've been forever looking in my life, not being afraid of opening up!

I wish I had a family like Macy's because I honestly didn't know anything about periods when I got it, and my parents still don't talk about anything related to sex and everything. One thing they do keep telling is that I shouldn't have a bf. I'm 22 now n I've been hearing it when I was young and I still hear it. Sometimes it just suffocates me because I want freedom. I want to tell my parents things that hurt n kill me inside but I never could and I never will specially now because I hate living with them to the point I don't want them present during my graduation next month because I know they would start arguing about something and because I hated doing the degree specially the final year because my parents wanted me to give up and they didn't get how much they are affecting me. When my results came in August, my mother scolded me for not saying against wht my dad was saying when what all I wanted to hear was how proud they are for not giving up. But no none of them did and my father calculated whether I could get a scholarship for my masters or not when I just wanted a fkng simple proud of you from them! I saw how other ppl were celebrating but that day I was crying alot and wasn't glad at all that I at least got a second class lower because I fkng lost one mark to get a second upper! It didn't feel like I finished three yrs of my degree instead it felt like shit. I regretted attempting the ppr bt purposely failing which was on my mind everyday because at least then my parents would understand what they are doing to me.

I remembered all of these when I was reading LAOW and that is why I was moody knowing I didn't have anyone like Elliot to open up and finally tell things that are killing me inside! Or a friend like Sabrina who would be there to just listen! I hated that the guy I had a crush on became awol leaving me like shit for years when it wasn't my fault and I hated the fact that the person who I considered as my almost bff blocked me and never apologised for making me feel like shit!

That is exactly why I don't want to give a rating because I honestly don't know whether I would have a diff feeling if I was reading the book on a day when I'm clearly not moody.

But nevertheless I'm going to recommend this book because I loved the second chance romance in this one!! And well everyone has different opinions and preferences and you might like or hate it but still I consider it as a good read!